A post about Hegel

Today I taught the lowest of the low levels. We're talking 0 lessons taken and absolutely 0 previous knowledge of the language, apart from some sort of ability to read and write English words. And I say "read and write" as in: know that the written word "name" corresponds to the spoken word "name", without necessarily knowing what the word might actually mean.

I am not entirely sure how this level of ignorance of English is possible for a Japanese adult. One would have had to sleep through one's high school English classes--literally, I mean. (I also mean "literally" literally.) But, no worries, for with some help from one of the bosses I was able to run the student through a lesson that involved precisely 12 items. Namely:

1. What is your name?
2. What do you do?
3. What are your hobbies?
4. Where do you live?
5. Where are you from?
6. How many people are there in your family?

And the answers to the above.

F o r t y . M i n u t e s .

Not that I'm complaining. It is not a particularly challenging lesson to teach, and she did successfully learn the material.

Now, it may have been my imagination, but it seemed to me that my coworkers were inordinately curious about the student: how did she do in the lesson, did she enjoy it; also, what was she wearing, and could they possibly switch lessons with me.

Probably this had to do with question #2. The student's answer to that question was, "I work in a ramen shop." However, boss was also kind enough to inform me that the student could, if she so desired, respond to the question with a second, equally valid answer, i.e., she has a second job, which is, to be more precise, starring in adult films.

So, anyway, here are some great quotes from the aforementioned book on Hegel by Kojève:

"...the Philosopher is, so to speak, a negative model: he reveals his existence only in order to show that one must not be like him..." Word.

"But even in the Phenomenology Hegel's position lacks clarity." Clarity? Lack? Hegel? No!

[You have a coupon for a Chili Peppers show??]

I was conscious in the last few lessons I taught today, but only barely. An awful day. I thought for sure I was going to get a complaint from at least one of the students in one of the afternoon sessions. I was, by my own estimation, that out of it.

But, hey, there's nothing like the absurd humour inherent in attempts at sleep-deprived half-broken-English/half-broken-Japanese conversation to ease one's way out of a bad day at work. My Japanese is apparently insufficient to clearly distinguish between "Red Hot Chili Peppers", the band, and "Hot Pepper", the coupon book.

Of course, it probably would have helped if it had occured to me (as it really ought to have) that "bando" is a perfectly acceptable translation for "band".

And for the record, the best sentence I uttered during all of last week: "Ah, but what is love if not a contrivance of the heart?" Spur of the moment--straight face! I'm quite proud.

It's a real page turner!

Today my soon-to-be-boss (starting in May--I'm moving schools) was looking for some text to use in a TOEIC lesson. Jokingly, I suggested my current reading material.

That being Alexandre Kojève's Introduction to the reading of Hegel.

The dude actually took me seriously, even after I told him I was joking. I had to convince him that it was a bad idea. "No, really, don't do it. It's cruel. Look, there are entire pages that are completely incomprehensible to me. Some of these words don't even really exist."

Thereafter we started to talk about which books might be good for the purpose at hand. I suggested Anne of Green Gables, which is quite popular in Japan (although here she is known as Anne of the Red Hair). Then it occurred to me that my non-Canadian coworkers might not have any idea what I was talking about, so I asked if they'd heard of it.

And one of them replied, "Yeah, it's some American book, isn't it?"

There wasn't much to say in response, so I ripped off his stupid Australian nose.

Doesn't this guy ever use the internet?

Georgia House Bans Genital Piercings

The original intent of the bill (before the piercing amendment) seems decent enough, but this man of the world is too much for me.

Amendment sponsor Rep. Bill Heath, R-Bremen, was slack-jawed when told after the vote that some adults seek the piercings.

"What? I've never seen such a thing," Heath said. "I, uh, I wouldn't approve of anyone doing it. I don't think that's an appropriate thing to be doing."

Back in the real world, we visited the Shinjuku Gyoen gardens to check out the cherry blossoms. Although the weather did its level best to be uncooperative, we were still treated to some very pleasant scenery. Of course, Kate kept taking pictures every 5 steps or so--see here.

And, in making that link, I just noticed a great picture which I had thought very important to take, but then promptly forgot about.



Gahhh! Send them back to Hell!

Assyassination

I first got this news while forgetting our camera at the aforementioned awesome apartment.

I don't want to embark on a long diatribe or anything. I just want to make one comment: In the minds of many, the assassination of Yassin was completely justified. Be that as it may. Suppose that Yassin did deserve to die. The real question ought to be whether this act (and the other assassinations apparently being planned by the Israeli government) will successfully bring an end to violence in the region.

Perhaps the Israeli leadership could begin by taking a cursory look at the concept of a "martyr".

I can say she had nothing to do with Zatoichi

Last night I finished watching Zatoichi. Now, I haven't seen Kill Bill Vol. 2 yet, of course, but after I do I'll probably say something along the lines of, "Zatoichi is the sort of movie that Kill Bill should've been." Which is to say, Zatoichi rocks. Superb action, great music, and great dialogue.

Well, the 50% or so of the dialogue that I could understand was great. I'm sure the remainder was quite good as well. (Stupid non-subtitled downloads....)

And let's not forget the dance numbers!

In other news, today we treated ourselves to sushi for dinner, at a place that was recommended to us by the fish lady. (So-called because she sells fish. But not real fish, though, that's cruel.) A big sign out front said that all sushi was 120 yen per plate--with 2 pieces of nigirizushi per plate, this was a great deal! We ordered ourselves a couple of rounds, and when we were becoming pleasantly full, I calculated that we'd only spent about 2000 yen, which wouldn't have been half bad.

I say "wouldn't" because the bill actually came to nearly 5000, and, on closer inspection, the 120 yen price was indeed per piece, and not per plate, which fully doubled the expected cost of the meal. Hee hee. Oops.

Later on we joined Mr. Small and company for a few drinks at Doma-Doma. This was shortly after we'd met them, purely by accident, at the Shibuya Hachiko Crossing, one of the busiest pedestrian intersections in Tokyo. A spectacular coincidence, although I must say Mr. Small is not particularly difficult to pick out of a Tokyo crowd.

Later we dropped by the mind-bogglingly awesome apartment of one of the members of my slowly germinating circle of Japanese friends, to pick up the camera I'd forgotten there a couple of days ago. We were treated to some tea served in seasonal Christmas mugs, as well as a video hosted by our hostess, who, it turns out, is a minor celebrity. But concerning this I can say no more, as I have been sworn to secrecy concerning the details.

How Geeky Can It Get?!

Spot: Male or Female?

It's not as if the title doesn't give away this thread's geekiness. However, the fact that people actually logged on to DEBATE this seems beyond normal to me. They actually back up their arguments with episode numbers.

Nevermind that I was reading the startrek.com message boards.

p.s.: For those out there who aren't in the know: Spot was Data's cat (Star Trek: The Next Generation).

The Passion, DIY

Man treated after attempting to nail himself to cross

All I can say is, somewhere out there is an AP writer with a bright future with The Onion.

"When he realized that he was unable to nail his other hand to the board, he called 911," Boucher said.

It was unclear whether the man was seeking assistance for his injury or help in nailing down his other hand.

We Go to Singing Festival 2004

Here is a collage of our fabulous karaoke night:

The Roppongi Hills are alive with the sound of music

Today was a Good Day.

It began with some utterly frivolous fun involving myself, Kate, and Mssrs. Small and Buchanan, as well as Mr. Buchanan's video camera (for which he had an impressive array of attachments). Over the course of an hour or so we provided a variety of bizarre spectacles for the citizens of Tokyo. It's not every day you get to see people stepping over someone's head.

Thereafter, I made my triumphant return to the world of karaoke. A group of 10 of us gaijin tore up a karaoke box with some stunning renditions of "My Way", "Space Oddity" and "Photograph", to name but a few of the evening's songs. My throat became very sore, though I was able to treat it with frequent sips of various drinks. Great thing about karaoke here: all-you-can-drink service comes standard. I do believe this was my first encounter with a pitcher of gin and tonic.

I must say, though,I was a bit disappointed by the paltry Doors selection, and, even after crossing the Pacific and coming to the home of karaoke, Under Pressure remains all-elusive.

Nonetheless, we had so much fun, we decided to stay pretty late. Too late even. At Shibuya we were greeted with the discovery that our preferred train had stopped running; following was a mad dash for a less-than-ideal-but-still-better-than-nothing line, which got us at least closer to home. After that, our choice was fish, so we took our first ride in a Japanese taxi. It was quite expensive, but the cost was justified, I think, by the absurd amount of fun we'd had that night.

Mr. Small was somewhat less impressed--he shared most of our route home and spent a great deal of time complaining about the difficulties of managing his personal finances. The cost of the taxi was a great worry for him. Still, though, he doubtless fared better this night than one Mr. Waggoner, who (despite the fact he was heading our way) ran up ahead of us and took a wrong turn at Shibuya station. God speed Mr. Waggoner. I hope you find a place to sleep tonight.

Will Wonders Never Cease

Just read that the BC Liberals and NDP are tied in the polls. LOL :D.

Dosu-KOI!

Today, as a treat, and out of laziness, we ate dinner at a yakiniku house. There's one just a short walk from our apartment, named YAKINIKU YOKOZUNA.

It was sadly lacking in sumo wrestlers.

On the plus side, however, the food was quite good, and surprisingly filling. A highlight was the shocking discovery of two whole cloves of garlic on one of the plates of meat. Turns out garlic is great when grilled--but I think it might have given Kate heartburn.

Some Greek!

Yesterday at work I was told a wonderful anecdote: one of my students said he was walking on the street late one night, and ran across a highly inebriated man yelling at an electrical pole. "What are you doing?" he demanded of it. "Why are you standing around? It's late! You should go home! Move, you idiot, move!" When he (the student) walked past him (the drunkard), he (the drunkard) suddenly realized he was talking to an electrical pole.

His agression disappeared. "I'm so sorry!" he apologized to the pole. "You're just a pole! I understand it's not your fault. You can stand here, it's all right, no problem. I'm so sorry for yelling at you! There is no excuse for my behaviour!"

Wow. This student sure could relate an anecdote. I nearly fell out of my chair.

White Day Arrives

Today is White Day, which is the Japanese version of Valentine's Day, but where only girls get presents. On Valentine's Day in Japan, only guys are supposed to get presents but I lucked out :). However, Toby thinks we're doing things "The Western Way" so doubt I'll get anything yummy today. :(

In other news, finished Eternity by Greg Bear - that series is pretty good. A little mystical at times but not bad despite that. ;)

Not much else is new. I have 2, possibly 3 private students now and that is going well. Watching 24 (where's the latest episode, anyone know?!) and Enterprise, which was left on a cliffhanger last week and they didn't even bother saying "to be continued...". Bums.

OK, so things are a little dull right now. Planning to go somewhere exciting this weekend, possibly Odaiba or Kamakura again, to visit the spots we missed (like the Big Budha). Hopefully I'll get lots of new pictures up. I also need to get a tripod. :D I am also dying to visit Ghibli Studios (aka Miyazaki Museum), so there's lots to do. Only two more days!

Souvlaki Triple Threat!

Or should that be "triple treat"? Eh? Eh?

Chris and Apis (our hosts during the last few days of 2003) are staying with us until next Wednesday while they attend a conference in Yokohama. Tonight, they most graciously treated us to Greek food. Now, we had planned to return to the Athens in Chinatown, but last night, on a whim, I did a last-minute search for Greek cooking on google.jp, and ran across a link to Spyros in Harajuku. The menu looked promising, and the advice on choosing olive oil boded well. So we decided to go there instead.

Good. Choice.

Exhibit A: The bread basket is accompanied by taramo and melitseno spread--you can tell how very Greek those are just from the way they sound.

Exhibit B: The lamb chop dish (in contrast to the Athens version) includes not only lamb chops, but also cous-cous and potatos in that lovely Greek style.

Exhibit C: The souvlaki platter. Seeing the option of beef, pork or chicken, Kate chose beef--and yet, when her dish arrived, it bore three skewers of three different kinds of meat. Turns out it wasn't an either-or option at all! Served with tzatziki sauce.

Exhibit D: The head waiter is half-Japanese, half-Greek. Could it be that his fully Greek forebear heads up the kitchen? Future forays may yield an answer. And maybe some free appetizer for the young lady with the Greek surname (and, by implication, her fiance as well).

Yes, we'll definitely be repeat customers there. The only hitch was discovering that we had unwittingly stolen the table of another party of four that actually had a reservation. Oops!

Just call me "Grouch"

I didn't even know it was time for the Academy Awards until one of my coworkers mentioned one of the results (read off of the web through a cell--as far as I can tell, all of them have webbrowsers here). Because of the time difference, the winners were being announced even as we were teaching. How exciting!

So, now I've had time to review and consider the results, and with much prayerful consideration I have decided to announce and immediately present:

*** Toby's 1st Annual Authoritative Oscar Review ***

OK, so I've only seen maybe half a dozen of the movies on the nominees list. Nonetheless, I, for one, still have full confidence in my own opinions.

Anyway. I didn't expect to be impressed, of course, but, still: I wasn't impressed.

Best Motion Picture - LOTR: ROTK

It is abundantly apparent that I am an incorrigible LOTR fan, but I prefer it in its pure, ideal, Platonic form, not the sullied projected-on-a-nasty-cave-wall movie adaptation, which was not at all deserving of Best Picture (whether you think of it as just ROTK, or the entire trilogy). Not by a long shot. The editing was abominable; character motivation was often nowhere to be found; many of the lines came straight out of mindless action movies. And then there are the particulars: Legolas vs. the Oliphaunt; Liv delivering her lines like her throat is leaking; the bizarre doggy pile when Frodo regains consciousness after Mount Doom; Elrond's awful, ear to ear grin at Minas Tirith.

Not that I think the other nominees are any better, necessarily. I would not rate Lost in Translation above ROTK: it presents itself as an intelligent movie, but it isn't; its flaws are considerably more stealthy, but they're still there. As for the other three, I haven't seen them. I've heard that Master and Commander was pretty bad, and I bite my thumb at Seabiscuit on general principle. I've been told that Mystic River is decent, but I haven't seen it.

Maybe it was just a year for bad movies. Who knows.

Achievement in Directing - Peter Jackson

He gets an A for effort, and an A+ for intent. But what exactly was so spectacular about his directing?

"Can you make those Oliphaunts look even bigger? Thanks."
"Liv, can you make your voice even breathier? Thanks."
"OK, Orlando, in this scene, I want you to look cool. No, cooler. No, just a bit cooler. Cooler. Cooooler. Coooooooler. Cooler! Yeah, there you go."
"OK, Hugo, in this scene I want to grin really widely. No, I mean, really wide. Hmm, OK, you're not getting it. Oh, I know: How old are you? Perfect--imagine that's your IQ and you just got a great big bowl of ice cream! Yeah, sure, chocolate ice cream."

Adapted Screenplay - LOTR:ROTK

"Adapted"? "Butchered", maybe. How about, "Ravaged"? "Eviscerated"? "Mutilated"? "Dismembered"?

Achievement in Film Editing - LOTR:ROTK

What are they, mad?

Where did Saruman go? What happened to all the orcs in the stronghold where Frodo was held prisoner? How did Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, and those dead dudes get to the Corsair ships? How did the gaggle of supporting characters react to the victory of the good guys? Did the thousands of dead get a funeral or something? How did Eowyn and Faramir survive, and how did they end up all snuggly at Aragorn's crowning?

Achievement in Art Direction, Costume Design, Makeup, Music, Sound, Visual Effects - LOTR: ROTK

Well, OK, yeah.

Right: enough about LOTR.

Original Screenplay - Lost in Translation

Well, I got to thinking about this one.

Maybe Bill Murray's delightful deadpan humour wasn't entirely invented by himself on set, and some of it actually came from the script. Maybe his throwback "me so solly" humour was entirely invented by him. And, come to think of it, the two-inch-thick melancholia spackled onto Johansson in about half of her scenes was probably a result of overzealous directing rather than a flaw in writing (or, for that matter, a lack of acting talent--or so I've come to suspect).

So, who knows, maybe it deserved this one. Yay, Sophia Coppola! She's some kind of genius.