Gaijin STD vectors, Part II

Why I begrudge:

1. Immaturity. I remember a conversation on the bus during a class trip in junior high school, fueled by juvenile testosterone, the object of which was to assert one's lack of virginity. (I wasn't nearly cool enough to be friends with these guys, but I was sitting in the seat in front of them.) The exploitive gaijin creeps in this country, 20-somethings one and all, if not older, bragging about their exploits to everyone who'll lend them an ear--they sound exactly like my former classmates braying and posing on that bus in junior high.

2. Hypocrisy. As mentioned, the majority of these guys, the worst offenders, it seems, would clearly be considered losers, nerds, geeks, dweebs, lamers, freaks, and so on, back in the western world. In Japan, however, the cultural cues that clearly identify a person as a social reject are different, so they can operate under the radar. Now, of course, given my own history of rejection, I have nothing against social rejects, and I'm glad that some of them have managed to find a refuge in this country. But you just know, it's so perfectly predictable, that when they were back home they despised the players, hunks, jocks, and assorted cool guys who would pick up and cast away girls at a whim. Jealousy leads to moral indignation pretty easily, which, again, is fine with me. I just can't stand inconsistency in such matters.

3. Abandonment. In all but one of the cases that I've seen or heard about, these guys came over with girlfriends. In general these relationships had existed for a while, and were expected to be fairly long-term. (Naturally--moving to Japan as a couple isn't a particularly light decision to make.) But without fail, the ones that go bad do so by about the end of their first month here, and utterly abruptly, at that. Now, I don't demand that every couple stay together till death do them part, but some consideration for someone to whom you've made a personal commitment (however limited that commitment might be) would be nice. What's more, moving to a foreign country together, where neither of you have any other substantial relations, ought to create a kind of obligation to the relationship. This means, I think, that you don't take off a month after arriving simply because it meets your fancy, without any prior warning.

4. Wrong playing field. Back home, there are some unwritten rules that are more often observed than not, and provide a modicum of protection to all. Granted, some guys practice outright deception, claiming to be looking for commitment when they're just looking for anything but. But, for the most part, those guys who want to sleep around without any commitment whatsoever can pretty easily identify gals who feel likewise, and vice versa. And, generally, the rest of the populace can identify these people as such, and avoid intimate relationships with them with a high degree of success. But, again, the cultural cues in Japan are different. There are plenty of youngsters who run around in "sex friend" (casual sex) circles, but there are also plenty who don't. The problem is, due to cultural differences and language barriers, Japanese women who might not be after a mere "sex friend" find it all but impossible to discern that a gaijin guy might be after no more than a one-night stand. As for the guy, he, of course, couldn't care less about what the gal might want.

If a Japanese female friend told me she'd met some gaijin guy and was thinking of going out with him, I would probably tell her to think twice, and maybe ask to meet him ASAP. This is ridiculously protective and prejudicial, but the situation itself is ridiculous.